Overcoming, becoming, and frequently apologizing. The curious journey of one soul through words.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Play On
Monday, July 29, 2013
She Stands Alone
Contemplating who she's been and all that she's not.
Tears prick at the edge of almond-shaped eyes
A quick snap of her neck allows her hair to hang low
Low enough to hide the tear's betrayal of a brave front
Hands dig further into deep pockets
half heartedly searching for the umpteenth time
maybe for spare change or just a shot of hope
Standing alone in the center of the world
Hands come up empty and steal a swipe
Across moist lashes and choppy bangs
She moves a pace or two first left, no-no she moves right
She moves as though it takes three men's might.
The man in a rush in his charcoal suit offers no apology as he throws her off step
The last bit of dignity she possessed has finally left.
Admitting to the world life does not turn out the way once thought
A sigh escapes and she struggles ahead
finding a spot where the grass is dead
Dropping low and curling tight
This small patch of earth is her bed tonight
Just another day trying to get by
another day of no one caring to ask why
The freckles that once danced across the bridge of her nose
are now covered in dust. No longer seen for a lover to count.
She no longer feels the pangs of hunger
She is too weighed down with more pressing matters
The woman she was and is meant to be.
She stands alone buried in thoughts
Finally accepting all that she's not.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Twisted Ears
I went into hiding to find myself
the part of me that no longer feels connected to the rest
I have laughed and cried
I have yet though to find the answer to the oh so many whys
I shall return, I always do
and perhaps I will turn a phrase or two
one thing is embedded now deep within
Vacations are merely breaks love always lies within
So upon my return please wait with a smile
I sit here pondering for this now short while
How I will take hold of your mind by bending your ear
~DivineChaos
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Photo Credit:Melanie Delon
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Love rambles
Hey there, It's me. I've been thinking....again. While muddling through the random thoughts that take up play space in my mind, I latched onto one that seemed to be seeking attention. I considered for a moment and then let my mind take flight with it. I wonder how many of us have contemplated love. I mean love in all forms not just unrequited love. How do you know it's love? Maybe what you have is just really some lukewarm, hazy rendition of what you think love ought to be. I don't know and who am I to judge outside of my own little personal bubble, right?
In my life I can say I know love in many, different forms. I am in love with my husband. My children, all quite different, I love immeasurably. Immediate family, I love indifferently. Friends, well to be honest I am not the friendy type even though I love people. I love writing in a way I cannot even describe other than to say when I am writing I am one with my thoughts, feelings, and words. I love animals too, have several in fact and love to smooch them and call them lovely self esteem building names like dandy dog and fabulous feline. I know, I can be a dork; call it part of my charm; I digress though.
I love electricity, thank you Tesla! I mean, I really am enamoured with it. How did people manage before its invention? In fact, I love it even more when there's a power outage. That second you hear every appliance whirring back to life is joyous. I feel like I just won a gold medal, like I have defeated the ghosts of centuries past who went without such luxuries. I also love warm coats on cold days, watermelon, card games, and when I catch the bus on time. I could go on, but I am sure you see where I am going with all this.
With all these different types of love how do you know it really is love? Maybe I don't even fully grasp the concept of love if I am using it in sentences to convey my feelings of a jacket on a cold day. Seems as if I am sort of making a mockery of the word, yet my spirit tells me, "Nope, you're right." If my spirit is telling me I am right then maybe my mind is over thinking this whole condition of love. Maybe the point is to understand and name the subtle variances and nuances in each degree of love. Of course, I could then start delegating out new words from Roget's Thesaurus to signify each level or aspect of love but quite honestly I don't have the want or convicton to do so.
So what I came up with in the end is that by having known the absence of love for a long measure in my life it has made me more critical and analytical of love and all its forms. This isn't a bad thing though. I am able to love things more fully now having gone without. I look at things, and by things I literally mean things, such as: a chair, a coin, a car, etc. and realize how much I love these things and the possibilities and opportunities they afford us. Crazy talk here, but I swear I can see past the thing and admire the essence of what it was and is and that I love.
I never thought I'd say it, feel it, or admit it but having lived the past I have I am able to love the present and the possibilities of the future. I love and am loved, in many ways by many people, places, and events. I waited a long time for it and searched even. Seems like when I stopped looking and started simply living, love found me. I couldn't express it any other way but to say I have been blessed by some Divine Force that sees me worthy of finally noting, giving, and receiving love. Love is a rambling weed that has taken over the garden of who I am and who I wish to become. I kind of like the wild and whimsical cottage garden that recognizes that the weed is simply a flower too looking for the sun and a bit of love.
I wish the same for you.
~DivineChaos
© Copyright 2013, Copyrighted.com
Photo Credit: Andrei-Oprinca
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Minnows
Minnows swim through the waves of thought
Making no headway through the mental onslaught
Some fall back, exhaustion crippling
Others fight on never attaining victory
Then there are those who see the truth
The soul of this body no longer possesses youth
Aged and withered the same angry crash of waves upon the northern shore
The fog hangs low here no respite for the swimmers' chore
The sun drops lower leaving the world a touch dimmer
The last minnow slows and takes a deep breath
One look around, no one is left
Finding his breath, gills expand
the mind of this body is dreary land.
~DivineChaos
© Copyright 2013, Copyrighted.com
Photo Credit: Barry Challice
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Diamond in the Soul
Sleep evades
thoughts permeate.
At the fork in the road
which route to take.
Both are covered with
dust and debris
but one must surely be marked for me.
A hand digs deep
to pull loose the petals that made the flower weep.
Fingers clench tightly over the loves me and loves me nots
Eyes close, heart in a knot.
The mind is shushed with determined will.
Then the first step is taken with calculated risk
One petal dropped to find the way back
Never trusting the soul to pick the right path.
Along the way there are potholes and storms
but when looking over a shoulder the path reveals
The wind has swept the petals away
Faith in them was of little consequence
It was the faith in the first step, the journey
that time spent
And to look at me now, who knows where it all went.
Shoulders are broader though their load is much lighter
The heart that was once torn has been worn like coal
to reveal the diamond within the soul.
~DivineChaos
© Copyright 2013, Copyrighted.com
Photo Credit: Diana Grigore

